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Han Fowler Walker

Kokoda 2023

Help me support the work of Black Dog Institute

Hi I'm Han :) 

Don't let my photo fool you, I'm a newbie hiker so Kokoda is a huge, exciting (and lil bit scary) challenge for me. 

Why I'm doing fundraising and going on Black Dog Institute's Hike for Mental Health: Kokoda 2023:

Suicide and mental health have been part of my life. I've lost a brother-in-law and a best mate to suicide and I'm a person with depression and anxiety (and have been for more than 20 years).  

In 2021 I had a breakdown. In recovery I did alot of walking, sometimes just to the shops and back, then to the park, then bushwalking, and eventually hiking and camping. Being out in nature and walking (and talking, listening, smelling the smells and watching the animals and plants) became adventure times and even times of healing for me.   

Mental health impacts all of us. If you haven't experienced mental ill health yourself, you've had a friend, family member or colleague experience it. Mental health awareness and research and, access to care and resources are so important. 

I want to support the work of Black Dog Institute by raising money as part of my participation in Black Dog Institute's Hike for Mental Health: Kokoda 2023.

Please help me help them by giving whatever you can.

The more people that know about Black Dog Institute, the greater their impact, so please also spread the word by sharing my page with your friends and family. Thank you in advance for your generosity, it means a lot to so many!

Please Help Me
Reach My Goal

Raised

$1,347

My Goal

$3,500

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My Achievements

Uploaded Profile Pic

Added a blog post

Self donated

Shared page

Reached 50% of fundraising goal

Reached 100% of fundraising goal

My Updates

May into June to July

Friday 7th Jul
A very wonderful human (and lucky for me also a lovely friend) called KA launched a new set of cards (designers love cards) 'model of care for co-design'... I went to their very fun and joyful launch party last night and it's been a while since I've been to a party with lots of people I don't know.

Two of my favourite cards are:' show behind the scenes' and 'scan for unintended consequences' and my awkward stop-n-start journey blog isn't co-design but I think about it as co-something... story making maybe.... i write some things and try to think about how I can share some of myself in words and in ways that won't harm or hurt anyone who reads this... but will be honest and not polished.

In the spirit of 'scan for unintended consequences' and 'show behind the scenes' I've read some things (not all things so please let me know when i get it wrong) about safe ways to write about mental health and trauma and I'm going to (do my best to) apply what I've learnt.

I'm going for a redemption (rather than contamination) story here... bare with me

May was rocky.. the sea and the uneven earth kind of rocky not pebble in the shoe rocky. I worked too much in April and May and wore myself away abit, my emotional skin was very thin. Then i had a weekend of accidentally visiting physical places and emotional spaces that ruptured the held together parts... my first draft of this post was 'slow shuffle out of trigger town' to lighten the weight of writing about triggers but the honest version is: time after triggers is heavy, its hard and each little step or shuffle back to 'normal' life is a tiny triumph. After the panic and memories (persistent, soundless, scary memories) I had a couple of days of not showering, just getting out of bed, giving myself a pat on the back for taking my medication, asking my sister to take me for a walk. I had a few good days and was back online working then i got over confident and got on a bus filled with people and panicked half way to work. My sister was on the phone talking me back to safety, back on a quiet bus, back home to my safe bed.

After the bus panic some things changed... I got back in touch with my GP, booked more EMDR2.0 sessions with my very kind and knowledgeable Dr and asked for what i needed from work.

And restarted some old habits: Heartmath and walking... small walks to the coffee shop early in the morning when not too many people were around. 5mins of heartmath before bed. Walks to my sisters place. 10mins of Heartmath twice a day. Walks to the park to watch doggos do doggo things. Walks to the shopping centre (also early in the morning to start with). 15mins of Heartmath twice a day. The safety zone for walking got abit bigger every couple of days and my heart rate got more smooth and wavy and less spiky.

Last Saturday I did my first walk with other Black Dog folk and my sister Owy came along for support and light comedy relief... we drove out to Bouddi National Park, past one of the trigger towns (we didn't stop) and walked 14kms up and down stairs, alongside coast and through bush and forrest. Sparkly water and scratchy brush turkeys and much sand and sweat and at the end I felt like if i can do that I can do the other normal life things.

Thanks to my sisters Owy and Mad for being my support crew and my friends who forgave me for cancelling plans to be a house hermit and my parents for taking me to the farm and the Black Dog crew (especially organiser Greg) for getting me out to Bouddi National Park.      

Start where you are

Tuesday 25th Apr
I spent the weekend at the farm. Shovelling soil for mum's veggie gardens, moving wood from the old shed, cleaning up rat nests in the new shed. 
I go there to disconnect from my phone and reconnect with quiet and my parents.
I didn't enjoy the farm when I was younger and now I miss it when I'm away too long. 
I sleep better, eat better, walk longer and feel calmer when I'm there... and there are reminders of my past selves there. High school art that mum rescued from being thrown away. Photos of us as kids. Dusty horse riding saddles. 

Talking to mum over the weekend about not doing enough training, blogs, fundraising... I remembered what I do and say in my job everyday: start where you are.

I'm getting closer to half of my fundraising goal. My sister Mad and I are getting back into planning an event to remember Richy. I'm back to walking everyday and recovered from stitches and the flu and I'm writing another blog :)  

blog number 1 (most original title ever)

Tuesday 7th Feb
I'm writing my very first blog post and after avoiding this for 4 weeks,  I'm finally doing the thing. 

I had a bunch of witty and punchy titles and stories planned but got scared and ran away every time i sat down to post. 

So here I am 7am the day before I turn 36 writing whatever comes to mind. 

In the first 4 weeks lots of lovely kind folk have donated, taken me for walks and sent messages of support (thanks peeps). I've walked with water dragons, brush turkeys, dogs, in the sun, in the melting humidity and in the stormy rain.  

Not sure what I'll write about next but hey blog number 1 is done :) 

Thank you to my Sponsors

$250

Lyn Fowler

Good on you Hannah

$150

Kristy

So proud of you lady!! All the love ❤❤

$26.25

Sophie Skeels

You’re going to smash it! Thank you so much for lending your support to Black Dog Institute and helping us to do research and support services.

$210

Lyn Fowler And Ed Walker

Good on you Han.

$100

Dan, Yang And Harvey W

$105

We Love Hannah Fan Club

Woo!! Go Han go!! You’ve got this gorgeous lady ❤️❤️ xxx

$100.80

Wai

You got this, Han! Such an awesome personal challenge for 2023 and for such a great cause.

$40

Christine He

You can do it Han!

$105

Nick Park

$50

Eowyn Fowler-walker

Good luck Hannah xx

$210

Hannah Fowler Walker