Sarah Mellor

I'd LOVE your help!

While I have never been diagnosed with a mental illness, I know now for most of my young adult life and into my early 30’s my mental health was average at best. 

I had a lot of genuine fun in my 20’s embracing like many of my peers a very hedonistic lifestyle, but this way of living for me started to take its toll and aggravate underlying problems. The reality was for most of those years anxious and insecure thinking and painful emotions were always lurking close by. I learned early on to put on a positive, confident and “together” version of me for the outside world as best I could in an attempt to hide the inside me, which especially in later years, overthought everything, felt fragile and far from together.

Most significantly, nearly every single weekend for 15 or so years I chose to significantly abuse my body with food, alcohol and drugs, often all at once, as my way to relax, connect, find joy and take a break from my day to day. I had no idea how ingrained this lifestyle and these habits had gotten until they started catching up with me and I tried to change. But I couldn’t. Week after week, month after month, internal pep talk after internal pep talk, I had small wins here and there but mostly, for years, I continued to fail over and over again to change my behaviour. 

In my mind, I concluded I must lack the willpower or self-control of other people and those thoughts chipped away even further at my self-esteem until much heavier feelings of shame, confusion, anger, sadness and ‘brokenness’ started to join me regularly. I remember thinking “Maybe I am stuck this way?” 

And for me personally, that thought was suffocating and the scariest of all. 

So I finally decided to get help. In all honesty, the current system failed me a number of times, but a combination of determination and fear refused to let me stop until I had answers. When finally, some years later I found tools that worked for me and I started to make progress quickly, the ELATION of taking back control of my life trumped any high I had ever paid for. I felt truly free for the first time in A LONG time. 

Flash forward to this very strange and uncertain new world we live in, and I can’t help but feel especially grateful for the tools I now have that continue to fill my life every day with more love, energy, inspiration and happiness.

At the same time, like many others I'm sure, I am incredibly conscious that far too many beautiful souls out there, perhaps for fear of reaching out, or bad previous experiences in the current system, or for many other reasons, are heading down a darker path.

We all have the right to live a beautiful and fulfilling existence that comes when we embrace wonderful mental health practises but the reality is these practises and tools are simply not, in my opinion, shared or understood widely enough in both our professional or social support systems. Combine this with a dangerously “normalised” hedonistic culture, ongoing stigma and confusion around what mental health actually means and it’s no surprise the mental health statistics in this country are so heartbreaking.

However, the most important truth is, THE TOOLS TO HELP ARE THERE. And when we choose to be brave, reach out for support, and develop them, our whole world as we know it can change. 

For me, the basic act of moving my precious body every day has snapped me out of more low moments than I care to remember, and I know with every part of my being this tool to be one of the most undervalued and simple that we can use to cultivate mental health and wellbeing.

So that’s why over the next 100 days, I will be taking 1,000,000 steps (for my own mental health!) but more importantly to raise awareness and money for the incredible Black Dog Institute, a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to improving the lives of people affected by poor mental health here in Australia and around the world.

Finally, one of the biggest drivers of change for me has been (and still is) experiencing the vulnerability of others sharing their real and honest journeys of change. So over these next 100 days I would also like to share along the way resources and tools that have helped me and what I have learned personally in the hope it resonates and may help some of you. 

With all that said, I would love your support. You can do that in 3 different ways. Of course the first is by a donation to the incredible Black Dog Institute. THANK YOU. Alternatively, if you resonate with my story above please simply feel free to follow along my journey on my facebook below as I share my story and learnings in more detail. And finally, of course please feel free to share with anyone else you might also think would benefit.

THANK YOU. Sending large virtual hugs to wherever you are.  

Sarah xxx

facebook.com/groups/onemillionformentalhealth